I'm sorry you feel that way...

If you're sorry, say sorry. If you're not sorry, don't say it.

Here are some things people said to me at various times, and what they really mean.

• "I'm sorry you feel that way" - What you say to someone who's ill.
• "I'm sorry if we hurt you" - I don't think we did, you do and you're wrong.
• "I'm sorry you think that" - You're wrong and I feel sorry for you.
• "I'm sorry you see things that way" - You're entire outlook on life is wrong.

Really they all mean the same thing: "I'm not sorry, I have nothing to apologise for but I want to smooth things over and sound like the good person I know myself to be".